My Divine Mission
My Divine Mission
My Story
On November 22, 1993, exactly 30 years after President Kennedy's assassination, I had dinner at home
before taking my minivan to go work out at a YMCA in Charlotte, NC. It was about 7 pm and the
temperature was around 40 degrees F but the evening was dry and cloudless.
Not far from my house in southeast Charlotte, I was approaching a sharp curve on a residential street
going about 35 miles an hour when I heard a voice as plain as if it were coming from someone sitting
next to me that said five fateful words, "You are completely at peace." Instantly, I went completely
limp as chills ran up from my toes to the top of my head, leaving me temporarily paralyzed and unable
to move a single muscle in my body.
I was just thinking, "Where did that come from?" when I saw headlights coming straight towards me
from around the curve in the road. They swerved to my left as I tried to shake off my unwelcome
paralysis to put my foot on the brake but instead there was a screeching crash and I blacked out as I
spun around before rolling backward into the woods below the road.
I had been hit head-on by a driver with a .27 blood alcohol level going between 50-60 miles per hour.
The police report said I left only about 20 feet of skid marks before impact and the other driver left
none. Since this happened before most cars had airbags, the only thing that apparently saved me was
my shoulder belt and my temporary paralysis.
Not that I wasn't hurt. My right wrist had been snapped in two and was dangling from my arm, but I
dismissed it as being fixable in spite of the pain because all I could feel from my knees down was searing,
incredible pain and I couldn't move either leg. I didn’t know if they were still attached, severely injured,
badly crushed or all of the above. None of these options gave me any comfort.
Then there was the absolute silence of the forest around me that was all the more pronounced after the
screeching, utterly overwhelming impact. I could see the white car of the person who had hit me as
people ran to see what was going on. Soon the ambulance came and the Emergency Medical Technician
(EMT) was there but couldn't open my door because the impact had triggered the automatic door locks.
I had a long ice scraper next to me, but I had to grab it with my left hand to reach across to the
passenger side to hit the unlock button there so the EMT could open my door and begin the process of
extracting me.
Of course, she couldn't move me at all, so she began cutting off all my clothes before putting a reflective
space blanket over me since the temperature was in the 40s. I knew if I allowed myself to begin
shivering that I would go into shock so I focused all my attention on clenching my teeth to keep them
from chattering and, presumably, going into shock. This focus kept me from feeling my dangling right
hand or the pain in my legs so I hardly noticed as the Jaws of Life truck removed what remained of my
windshield, peeled back the roof of the car and put a chain around the engine to pull it off of my legs.
Suddenly I looked up and saw stars in the clear night sky and felt the pressure easing off of my legs. The
EMT was then able to cut through the backs of my sneakers so she could pull my feet out of them one at
a time. When each one came out, I was thrilled that I could rotate my feet, which meant that my lower legs
were still attached to my body. As it turned out, the engine wall had pinned the toes of my sneakers
and crumpled enough to give my legs and knees deep lacerations requiring arthroscopic surgery to clean
them out but miraculously no bones in either leg had been broken.
As they strapped me onto the gurney, all I could think about was arriving in the Hospital Emergency
Room and seeing my husband and daughter. I pictured that scene, with the bright white light above me
and a team of doctors and nurses tending to my wounded legs and arm. The pain was still intense, of
course, but I was elated to have survived and tried to console my husband and daughter once they
made it to the hospital. I knew then that I was going to make it through my surgery and, ultimately, be
just fine.
I didn’t learn until I was in the hospital that the other driver had been killed instantly. The sadness I felt
with this knowledge almost overwhelmed me and will certainly haunt me forever even though the
twenty feet of skid marks measured by the police were entirely on my side of the road. Since my
temporary paralysis kept me from putting my foot on the brake pedal, the skid marks happened solely
as a result of the collision that sent my car spinning off of the road.
The next morning I was visited by the man who was in the car right behind me and saw the whole
collision. It turned out that he was a physical therapist at the trauma hospital where I was taken and,
when I told him about the voice I heard just before the crash, he said that my temporary paralysis likely
saved my life. Not too many people survive high speed head-on collisions but I was in a minivan and the
other driver was in a compact car, so that weighed heavily in my favor.
I spent the next six months regaining the use of my right arm and trying to teach my knees how to bend
normally. It would take a full year, however, before my left leg remembered what it was supposed to do
and its ongoing pain after that was what led me to acupuncture and my subsequent introduction to
energy and alternative healing. I realized that the Divine intervention that had probably saved my life
had given me an obligation to learn why I had been saved. Five years after my accident, I became
attuned as a Reiki light worker and began my energy healing journey to help myself and others heal.
My terrible accident launched me into this spiritual quest and, in 2018, I finally was guided to begin
writing about it. Once I realized the profound nature of the five words spoken to me before the Divine
intervention that saved my life, I knew I had to explore their significance. Here is one of the first poems
I wrote that summarizes my catastrophic experience.
- - -
My New Reality *My Mission, consciousness, spiritual quest, peace
It was cold that night in Charlotte, thirty years after Kennedy’s date with destiny.
A beautiful, clear night for cruising towards a sharp curve in the road,
my headlights cutting through the inky blackness ahead into the trees.
“You are Completely at Peace,” said a disembodied voice, spoken inside my head
but as clear as if it were spoken next to me.
“Where did that come from?” I thought just as I felt a primal chill begin at my toes
and climb up my body to the top of my head, paralyzing me completely.
I was a limp rag doll by the time I saw the headlights
coming around the curve on my side of the road.
“Isn’t that interesting?” was all I could think
since my consciousness had been detached from my body.
I watched with an odd fascination
as the headlights smoothly rolled
from my side of the road to the other side and then back again.
No fear, no reaction, just fascination and immobility enveloped me
as the oncoming car slammed into me going more than 50 miles per hour;
I was going 35, a normally lethal combination.
I blacked out as the metal and plastic that made up my van and the other car
screeched at the insult of the impact that pushed me spinning wildly
before coming to rest in the nurturing trees.
I woke up to a new reality,
oddly peaceful and entirely lucid
as intense pain in my legs and right wrist claimed my entire focus.
Such is the power of divinely-given peace. It turned my life upside down that night
and started me on an unending spiritual quest,
destined to spiral upwards into higher vibrational realms.
--May 2020
- - -
When the world was forced into quarantine by Covid-19 restrictions, I, like everyone else, had to learn
how to look inward for comfort. In my church’s Zoom spiritual discussion group, I chose a number that
corresponded to a word I was assigned to do something creative with and it turned out to be “peace.”
Here is the poem I wrote for that assignment, igniting my desire to incorporate poetry into my life, an
activity has now become my passion.
I am Peace. *My Mission, peace, love
I am Peace.
It starts at my very core, right there next to love because there is no peace without love.
My peace comes from a lifetime of disappointments, failures and ultimate successes
built into of the richly colored fabric my life has woven for me.
Sometimes it seems to slip away,
leaving my inner little girl wide-eyed with panic
that it might have abandoned me for good.
But it always comes back with a soft kiss and a welcoming hug
to calm my soul and reassure me that it never left me.
I had only strayed into the fringes of my consciousness
to sample the imaginary world I think is around me.
My inner peace is my stabilizer and my comforter.
It wraps around me with the softness of a down feather or a single snowflake.
I recall it whenever I need its soothing balm
to remind me that the crazy world around me
cannot change the magic of Who I Am or who I always will be--
an embodiment of love and, above all, peace.
--May 2020
- - -
My first set of poems were inspired by some of my early writings about my experience. They will begin
many of the chapters of this book and they reflect my initial healing journey.
Survival *My Mission, survival, destiny, peace
Survival is the first step to healing.
Without it there can be no recourse other than bow our heads to nothingness.
Promised peace, I was instead given an injured body that faced years of climbing towards the Light.
But I was alive and that was all that really mattered; I had survived.
The Light was what sustained me and enticed me onward to push through the pain.
It guided me into becoming a healer so that I could heal myself as well as others.
It prodded me into writing my poetry to serve as a guide to those who need its message.
The five fateful words, “You are completely at peace,” saved my life, guided it and, ultimately, defined
my destiny.
--May 2020
- - -
After a summer enduring the lockdown experience like everyone else, I had developed my technique of
taking notes and then creating poetry during my minister’s online sermon every Sunday. I would write it
rapidly so I could share it with our online fellowship Zoom call shortly after each Sunday’s service so I
called it “Zoom Poetry.” Of course, poetry is meant to be shared, so I started a Facebook page called
“Zoom Poets Society” to be my forum for posting my poems.
In this first chapter of my poetry collection, I trace my personal journey as I explored my motivations for
expressing myself poetically. I will let my poems speak for themselves.
What is poetry? *My Mission, consciousness, universal truth, inspiration
Poetry is a window into my eternal soul.
It exists within my being just waiting to be discovered.
It begins as a primal urge, an itch that begs to be scratched,
tickling the back of my consciousness
until I succumb to its seductive cadence.
Once awakened, it becomes a compelling force
that erupts from within and demands release.
My creative urge is at my very core,
like the glowing magma that nurtures the earth.
Sometimes its pressure to erupt is so strong
that it spills out through tumbling words and vivid images that beg for expression,
leaving my inner poet no choice but to craft my deepest thoughts into imperfect words.
The creative impulse is different for every soul and as diverse as creation itself.
It cannot be forced since it must be born naturally
into words or music or other artistic media.
When it bursts forth and begins to have form, it gains a life all its own
and becomes part of universal consciousness.
Poetry is the rhythm of my heart and soul long before I can express it in words.
It connects with my sacred core for universal truths and experiences I hope will inspire us all.
Once its magic lantern has been uncorked,
my genie is free and my soul can breathe at last.
--December 2020
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Dancing With My Shadows *My Mission, consciousness, surrender, awakening, creativity
It’s four in the morning and I can’t get back to sleep.
Something’s nibbling at the edge of my consciousness
with an insistence I can’t ignore.
I know I have to write it down
so that the words and images that are struggling to erupt
can greet the dawn as unpolished gems
sparkling in the sunlight.
It’s time for me to dance with my shadows.
I wonder what they have to offer me this time,
and then can hardly contain the tumble of words
that my spirit is dictating faster than I can write them down.
I know where they came from.
My dormant soul is awakening
and pushing my pen to capture the gossamer words
before they can become lost
or diverted into more mundane service.
My one-two dance with my shadows has begun,
swaying to the rhythm of music I’ve never heard.
I relinquish my conscious control over my words
and where they will lead me.
I only know that I am the humble scribe
for a Power far greater than anything I could ever imagine.
I just relax my mental muscles
and download the words that are waiting to be born.
I never know where my words will lead.
I simply sway with the flow of them,
sometimes in rhyming step;
other times in a seamless flow with no apparent ending.
My Source knows where it’s leading me, though,
as surely as I can begin to see the light of dawn.
It knows what it wants me to express
and when it will allow me to close;
I have little choice as my pen dutifully records the dictated words.
My shadows are weary of lurking in the corners of my mind
and yearn to flex their muscles to throw off the darkness
in which they have been slumbering within my psyche’s womb.
They are ready to dance and express themselves,
sometimes with wild gyrations
that confound my best efforts to contain them.
I’m no more in control of them than I am of the rising tide
or soft breezes causing wisps of hair to float around my face.
The strands will keep floating or be pulled into bondage.
My words, however, will remain
as homage to the shadows that birthed them
and allowed them to come alive and unburden my soul.
--June 2021
- - -
Musings *My Mission, creativity
As I enter my 75th year, I wonder: What do retired advertising copywriters become?
OCD—Older Creative Divas who are never too chicken to cross the road, especially if it’s the road less traveled.
When we come to a fork in that road, we pick it up and use it to ingest the Cosmic salad that feeds our souls.
We then charge ahead into uncharted waters and become masters of soul-diving to discover our internal depths.
We are the new wisdom-keepers whose Victorian-era grandmothers gave us the moral corsets to
survive the hippie-yuppie-groupie fads that defined our generation.
We were neither “sweet” nor satisfied with conventional ways of thinking.
Instead we launched the Women’s Lib Movement in the ‘70s, then broke the glass ceilings with our high heels and big hair in the ‘80s.
Our younger, thinner selves survived Limbaugh’s taunts of being Femi-Nazis in the ‘90s.
We raised our daughters to be leaders as well as independent, caring wives and mothers.
We raised our husbands to be compassionate soul-mates and role models for our sons and grandsons.
We’re not afraid to shove societal conventions into appropriate dustbins so that our children and
grandchildren can have a fresh shot at pursuing expanded horizons.
We’ve earned our places at the head table where we now sit to absorb the adulation of our many fans.
Yes, we Older Creative Divas define an era of our own, an era that we created as strong, independent
women determined to achieve a level of equality that would have shocked our grandmothers but
ultimately would have made them proud.
Now we pass the torch to our children and grandchildren with the expectation that the Victorian-era
corset that tried to restrain us will turn out to be a treasured hour-glass-shaped vase to support their
creative flowering for generations to come.
Yes, it’s good to be a 75-year-old Creative Diva and have this as my legacy.
--September 2020
- - -
My State of Humility *My Mission, humility, expectation, happiness
By watching my own thoughts and opinions,
I choose to be happy and free.
I don’t follow others’ expectations
since I’ve decided I want to be me.
I know that judgments are deadly
and that they disrupt the Flow.
So I meet the world as I see it
and allow it to direct where I go.
My ego is meant to deceive me
and encourage judgment and strife.
By using this new thought process,
I’ll bring happiness back into my life.
--March 2021
- - -
Anchored in the Heart *My Mission, surrender, forgiveness, Oneness
I am anchored in my heart,
opening like a rose with each petal
surrendering to the love and connection I have
to the Divine, the Universe, the All That Is.
I have released the resistance of my ego,
knowing that forgiveness, trust and surrender
are the only things that allow me to be pure of heart.
I become the rose, rich and red,
as I unfold from my golden core
to allow the Son’s Light to bathe me in blessing
and the promise of eternal Oneness with God.
--March 2021
- - -
Technology’s Promise *My Mission, control, human condition
Technology has come to save us—
from ourselves, from each other,
from our twisted past and our promised future.
It tantalizes us with its lure of convenience,
while the illusion of making our lives better
insidiously forces our lives, our thoughts and actions
to adapt to its minute requirements.
Technology controls us waking to sleeping
and all points in between.
It leads us along its craven path
with its smug promises of superiority
and future ease.
“Try this doodad,” it taunts, “and you’ll never again
be tormented with hardship/heartburn/anxiety/pain.”
Then it takes over our lives
and forces us to treat it as a necessity.
Now we often have a hard time living with it
but know we can’t live without it.
Our phones have become our lifelines
to each other and the world.
Go out-of-network or forget our phone
and we are without our electronic tether,
dangling helplessly and uncomfortably hollow.
Our watches have become our masters
as we count our steps and heartbeats,
always measuring our bodily processes
like recipes for baking a cake.
Our cars drive us, speak to us,
and sometimes kill us if our attention lapses.
Even our houses are wired
with the modern magic of automation
designed to clean them, control them,
and make them mini theaters of pleasure.
The microchip has reduced our human experience
to humble ones and zeros.
We worship it while loathing its regimentation
of our every waking and often sleeping moment.
Technology has invaded our bodies,
replacing our hips and knees and corneas.
Robots are no longer in future visions—
they are taking us over and creating artificial parts
that promise to eventually replace the whole.
Those who deny science fiction fail to see
that it has become science fact
and our world passively awaits the next innovation
that will “revolutionize” our puny existence.
This relentless, forced march has reduced us
to the mentality of ants forever foraging
to feed the needy technology queen who rules our lives.
Incapable of going backward,
we continue to march forward,
driven by an artificial need to alter and change and “improve.”
Instead we are living the old adage of
“the more things change, the more they stay the same.”
Such is the human condition.
--April 2021
- - -
Poetry Eyes *My Mission, surrender, consciousness
I have new eyes now.
My world that used to be presented in mellow, golden tones
is now bright and crisp, each tree leaf outlined against the sky.
Though I knew what to expect,
it is still a delight to see the world
through inner lenses that need no special care.
It is almost as if I am being rewarded
for my willing immersion into the world of poetry.
Now I can say I see the world differently both literally and figuratively.
My new poetry eyes look for subtle meanings
that might have eluded me before.
They see deeper expressions of common images
and seek to present new thoughts
where old ones have become stale.
The soft, golden-hued world I used to accept as “real”
is now sharply defined in blues and whites I had forgotten about.
This metamorphosis symbolizes my awakening into a higher consciousness
in which the wavelengths of light now fairly dance around me,
just as my awareness of my inner thoughts and emotions
is heightened and magnified as never before.
I feel as though my life has shifted gears, too,
moving into the fast lane as my creative spirit
comes bubbling forth unbidden.
My “poetry attacks” are now more frequent,
more identifiable and almost predictable,
emerging from my higher consciousness as downloads I can’t ignore.
So I surrender myself to the task of writing what I’m being given,
now filtered through my new artificial lenses
that direct their form and outcome.
I allow myself to become the instrument
of a Power beyond my human comprehension,
one that awakens me at night with fresh images
to translate into words and, sometimes, rhyme.
I never know what to expect or even how the ending will appear.
I just know it is there,
waiting to come through my new, miraculous lenses
and into my willing words.
--May 2021
- - -
Soul-Mining *My Mission, creativity, Divine guidance
Soul-Mining is an exploration of the creativity of our souls.
The gems are within us, deeply buried and waiting to be found.
“Pearls of wisdom” they’re called or “penny for your thoughts,”
all priceless in value because they are crystalline creations
molded to express our authentic selves.
We all have them, of course, these beautiful thoughts
that lull us to sleep at night or fill our daydreams
with hopeful visions of desired outcomes.
They lie there, waiting to be teased out from our primal cores.
They are gemstones, gold and silver nuggets,
waiting patiently to express our deepest desires, fears or aspirations.
They are concepts, words, images or musical notes
deeply buried in our creative right brains.
They may be primal screams, painted images or soothing songs
but all are waiting to be mined from our souls’ depths.
They can be found through intention,
concentration and Divine guidance,
offered to any seekers who choose to mine
the depths of their sacred soul-vaults
and bring their gems into the light of day.
--May 2021
- - -
Cosmic Humor *My Mission, control, acceptance, humility
The Cosmic sense of humor makes itself known to all.
It feeds on our illusions that we’re too big to fall.
It lets us think we’re in control before it pulls the rug
from under our mere human feet since it knows IT’S the plug.
The Universe will always be the One that calls the shots;
we only think we have it made but it’s what ties our knots.
God lets us try to figure out what might be ours to do—
what’s right or wrong or in between or maybe from the blue.
If we take ourselves too seriously though and think WE’RE all we need,
the Universe will poke a hole just to see how much we’ll bleed.
We have to see the humor that the Universe employs
or find ourselves repeating the things that destroy our poise.
Once we understand how puny we are in the scheme of things
and surrender our will to heaven and the peace it surely brings,
we find that paths will open that we couldn’t see before
because our egos made us think that we were SO much more.
So when we’re brought down to our knees with nowhere else to go,
we’re finally open to the Light and our peace of mind will show.
We learn that all we need is trust that God is on our side
to find our lives are rich and full when humility becomes our guide.
--June 2021
- - -
My Poetry Ministry *My Mission, love, ministry
My poetry is like a line of glue
that connects the world to my heart.
It takes Neusom’s words to a higher plane
by giving them a jump-start.
It’s a poetry ministry all its own
that’s dedicated to love.
I know it’s what I’m supposed to do
and that it comes straight from above.
--July 2021
- - -
Who am I? *My Mission, truth, fear, acceptance
Who am I to think I can be
courageous and honest intellectually?
I may be wrong but I speak my mind.
It’s the truth of who I am even though I may find
that I’m feeling afraid to push ahead
and buck the critics of what I just said.
If I’m to grow in this Game of Life,
I have to push my boundaries and disregard strife.
My earthly body just holds my true self—
someday I’ll just put it back onto the shelf.
That’s when I’ll know it’s time to go Home
and be One with God, never more to roam.
--August 2021
- - -
My Poetry *My Mission, truth
The poems I scribe are not really mine.
I write their words, but they come from the Divine.
From Soul Gem to finish and every word in between,
I am led to express the truths I have seen.
I listen from my heart for what I’m to say
and ask for direction along the way.
I know I’ll be given the words that I need
to express Spirit’s message in words that will read
in a way that will touch those who are ready to hear
the downloaded message that proves Spirit’s near.
--August 2021
- - -
I Am My Own Hero *My Mission, reality
I am the hero in my own life.
I create my successes as well as my strife.
Since I am a hero to no one but me,
That’s just how it’s been and will always be.
My true quest is calling and drawing me near.
Life controls everything while my body is here.
My Divine Core will carry me through
in spite of life’s lessons (that aren’t really true).
Changes seem to leave me battered and sore,
but I know for certain that I’m nothing more
than who I was and will always be.
I am the source of MY reality.
--September 2021
- - -
The Hero’s Goal *My Mission, transformation, Oneness
My task is to seek who I really am
and not who I think I should be.
Only then can my transformation begin
as I expand my reality.
There’s part of me that needs to die
before I can stretch my mind
and identify the path I must take
to leave my selfhood behind.
Be it cradled or cursed, I simply can’t say,
but I know I must follow through.
“What is my true nature?” I need to ask—
“What is it that’s mine to do?”
My goal’s to achieve my Oneness with God
so that my journey may end.
To reach hero’s perfection I must leave my path
and merge with the Spirit within.
--October 2021
- - -
Making Space *My Mission, truth, meditation
How do I conquer my monkey mind
and allow my thoughts to be clear?
Divine vibrations are what I need
but can’t feel with my body so near.
My life is a habit, after all,
but it’s one that I need to break.
It’s just repetition of things that I’ve done
like a bad dream from which I can’t wake.
I need to slow down and invest in my peace
by living in Present Time
and correct my faulty habits of thought
to clean out a lifetime of grime.
Heaven’s Truth is just what I want
and the ecstasies it will bring.
But I need a new groove to take me there
so that my heart can sing.
Meditation allows my mind to be still
and welcome in peace and love.
It lets me make space for God to come in
and direct my life from above.
--October 2021
- - -
God’s Avatar *My Mission, peace, truth, joy
I am God’s avatar,
an open portal
for the joy, acceptance and love
that God offers to all of creation.
I reap His bounty
with every breath
and share His love
with every thought and action.
His Divine whisper tells me
that I am peace and I am truth.
My joy is boundless since I know
that I am love itself.
All this is mine to share with the world,
and knowing it makes my life worth living.
I AM God’s avatar and I am content.
--November 2021
- - -
Affirmation of Faith *My Mission, control, faith
I control my world’s reality,
I don’t let it control me.
I know I’m not just a body—
I CREATE the world I see.
I let my emotions flow through me
and have faith they won’t alter my course.
As a Child of God I am perfect—
it’s my goal to be true to my Source.
--November 2021
- - -
Zen and Now *My Mission, surrender, boundaries
How to surrender is to surrender the How
I remind myself each day.
The way I do that is to live in the Now,
which keeps my suffering at bay.
Boundaries keep me from leaving my path
or straying where I don’t belong.
They let me avoid any other souls’ wrath
and focus on singing MY song.
Surrendering to my boundaries will keep me sane
and give me a sure path to success.
Living each moment gives me so much to gain
and allows me to manage my stress.
--November 2021
- - -
My Obsession *My Mission, surrender
Something is happening between me and the Divine.
It’s hard to distinguish what’s Spirit’s and what’s mine.
The words that I write certainly come from my pen
but their Source is a mystery and I can’t control when.
Sometimes it’s on Sunday during my minister’s talks.
Sometimes it strikes me during one of my walks.
But often I get downloads at three AM
Then I’m up and running in my mental gym.
These poetry attacks are urgently insistent
and I know that it’s pointless to be resistant.
So I scribe the first line for direction and form,
then the next lines pour out in a virtual storm.
When I come to a place where I need a rhyme,
I surrender to Spirit who requires little time.
I know when it’s finished because everything stops.
When it’s time for the ending, the energy just drops.
Then it’s Spirit’s discretion to choose the eyes
that will see each poem under my disguise.
If they don’t, that’s OK—it’s attached to a star.
I’ve fulfilled my obsession and can watch from afar.
--January 2022
- - -
My Purpose in Life *My Mission, change, truth, discernment, purpose
I meditate, I listen, my voice within speaks
so softly I may miss its call.
Where am I going? I want to know,
and why do I go there at all?
The full moon shines bright behind the clouds
and draws my attention away.
It knows its place in its eternal dance
‘round Mother Earth night and day.
“Is that my fate, too?” I wryly ask,
“am I locked in my path for life?
“Or can I change to adapt and grow
as I wade through trials and strife?”
I know my Truth is deep within
waiting to be revealed.
It’s just beyond my conscious mind
but I know it’s far from sealed.
It’s up to me to discern my path
from all the choices I make.
I trust I will know which ones I need
to follow for my own soul’s sake.
Because, after all, to reach my goal
of connecting to the Divine,
I must live my life and not look back
for ultimate peace to be mind.
I write my lines and connect my rhymes
to express what fills my heart.
That may be my Purpose after all
and has been from the start.
--February 2022
- - -
Looking Back *My Mission, release, change, creating
I don’t need accolades and have no use for praise
since I write my poetry for fun.
Whether coming from within or Spirit’s quirky whim,
my words tumble out on the run.
Sometimes they’re profound, sometimes just mundane,
sometimes they make little sense.
I just know I must write my lines and rhymes
and not to expect recompense.
Without having Facebook when Covid came,
I doubt I would have written at all.
There’s something about seeing my words on a screen—
like a drug, I can’t resist the call.
I don’t care if they get read, I just hope they’ll be spread
but once posted they are out of my hands.
I release them to the Web with lots of hope, not dread,
since they're riding on the shifting cyber sands.
So much has changed, after all these years,
now that it’s the digital age.
Typewriters were all we had at the start
when White-out was all the rage.
Then Selectrics came with their balls and fame,
relieving my fingers of strife.
Computers took the lead with their digital screens
and technology took over my life.
I like the age we’re in with its chance to win—
it’s allowed me to bloom after all.
I can publish in an instant, even change it when it’s there—
I’m creating and having a ball!
--February 2022
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My Shadow Self *My Mission
My Shadow Self
defines me,
guides me,
deceives me,
is me.
It sees others suffering that
pains me,
motivates me,
blinds me,
is me.
My Shadow Self
reflects me,
soothes me,
judges me,
is me.
It makes me who I am so it
strengthens me,
supports me,
shames me,
is me.
It is my sacred treasure chest that
nourishes me,
enfolds me,
defines me,
is me.
--June 2022
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My Father’s Hands *My Mission, music
My father’s hands were magical things,
dancing across the keys.
They could play anything in a ragtime beat,
especially when I sat on his knees.
His hands never knew how to fix anything
since his left and right worked the same.
But suggest a tune and he’d know how it played
though he might not know its name.
His job was intense, his office his plane,
flying from town to town.
So he wasn’t at home when I needed him most
but I knew his love was around.
I loved him so much and missed his hugs
and his heart as big as the sky.
Then he died too young before grandkids came
so he never heard their sweet cry.
I think he knew at the end of his life
that somehow he’d lost his way.
His job was all he had time to do
but then he forgot how to play.
He also forgot how to love himself
so he withdrew into his shell.
An imperfect hero was all he could be
and it’s something he knew all too well.
But his music lives on and his memory is near
when piano jazz is played.
The happiest days of my childhood were spent
watching the music he made.
--June 2022
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The Still, Small Voice *My Mission, happiness, freedom, love, create, Christ
The Divine within is the still, small voice
I choose to direct my fate.
My thoughts create the world I see
and lead me to Heaven’s Gate.
My happiness is in my grasp
when I direct my mind.
My freedom comes through giving love
and, above all, being kind.
I thrive and flourish in the Light of Christ
as I mindfully follow its lead.
I can manifest the best in me
and create everything that I need.
--July 2022
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My Life in Rhyme *My Mission, truth, inspiration
How can I know when it’s time
to discover who I really am
and admit my worth to the world
without seeming to be a ham?
I’ve gone along with the crowd
my whole life until this time.
Now I confront the truth
that my future lies with rhyme.
I can now admit that I’m good
at translating spiritual things
into simple, accessible thoughts
and the comfort that it brings.
My downloads from Spirit are fast
and tumble in when I open the tap.
They must have been waiting there
after taking an eons-long nap.
My friends say they watch for my rhymes
that come after each Sunday’s talk.
So I hope I fulfill their need
to follow Neusom’s spiritual walk.
That puts me on each of their paths
as they search for how they should grow,
which means my words are a gift
to inspire more than I can know.
--September 2022
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I Am the One *My Mission, meditation, Oneness
Who is the One looking out at the world
from inside my monkey mind?
Is life good or bad or in between
or something I still need to find?
I think positive thoughts—or hope I do—
even though the world’s upside-down.
I battle the negative side of me
to keep my feet on the ground.
I meditate to observe my mind
and tell me that I’m no fool.
Awareness of Self is the goal of my life
so my God within can rule.
By slowing down and listening for clues
about how my life should go,
I’m confident I’ll stay on the path
that leads to Universal flow.
I was brought on this earth to fulfill my role
and help turn this world around.
I am the One, as everyone is,
and there’s no one else to be found.
--October 2022
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Balm for My Soul *My Mission, my poetry
My poetry is balm for my soul
and not meant to be anything more.
It’s lyrical and lets my heart sing
as my words bubble up from my core.
Sometimes they come fast, sometimes they come slow,
but they rarely come on demand.
I have to uncover the words that I write
and give them a place to land.
Once I’m in the right state of mind,
my rhymes just seem to flow.
They’re short and sweet and to the point
without dragging on just for show.
-- October 2022
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Spaces and Impressions *My Mission, impressions, illusion, control
My mind is full of countless spaces,
each filled with impressions good and bad,
like a cosmic warehouse
holding space for these spaces
that store the impressions imprinted
on the fabric of who I think I am.
There are no definitions, no lines, no corners.
Everything flows into my being, my becoming,
my body that isn’t really there,
just like the world, rushing headlong through the universe
with no goal or guiding protocol.
Only I can choose how I experience my life
since the Universe flows past me and through me,
never caring whether I’m happy or not.
There is no black or white,
only a grey mist with no beginning or ending,
unaffected by my preferences or projections
about what should or shouldn’t be.
My future unfolds as it will
and resistance to its inexorable flow
only clogs my mind’s myriad spaces with false impressions
that keep me tethered to the illusion that I am in control.
--October 2022
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Discerning my Path *My Mission, success, surrender, love
Where do I want to go with my life?
Who do I want to be?
My Divine Self knows where I should go—
but my ego thinks IT has the key.
Then my body gets into the act
and I must decide my path.
Is it something I feel that I must do
just to keep from society’s wrath?
Or is it in line with my spiritual goals
and something I WANT to do?
Can success be mine in spite of blocks
and my ego satisfied, too?
It’s a balancing act between my three parts
and the ultimate mystery of Life.
So I surrender to the will of God
and trust I’ll be relieved of strife.
It’s not my problem after all
as long it’s God that I trust.
I open my heart to love all I see
so my resistance can turn to dust.
--January 2023
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Free to Be Me *My Mission, acceptance
My cage of conformity captivated me
because it was the easy way.
I just went along with who I thought I should be
since it kept society at bay.
But one day I decided to accept who I am
because playing a role ceased to work.
I couldn’t become my “perfect” self
since it made me into a jerk.
I knew my gifts were waiting inside
to shine forth and change my world.
That allowed my words to come tumbling out
as my poems emerged and unfurled.
The part I’m to play in the Universe
was always waiting for me.
And those who accept me for who I am
are the ones who are setting me free.
I’m now more accepting of everyone else,
freed from their cages like mine.
We belong to the same Universe
that was created by the Divine.
--March 2023
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Joy Offered Freely *My Mission, love, control
My poetry is joy that is offered freely
and flows from my heart and my soul.
It’s liquid love since my words pour out
like water from a celestial bowl.
Once others receive them and sip their message,
it’s up to them how it plays.
It could seep into them and get them to thinking
or even change their ways.
They might dismiss my words as wishful thinking
and decide they won’t go along.
They don’t need to agree with the thoughts that I offer
any more than with the words of a song.
I have no control over others’ impressions
or whether they read my rhymes.
I can only express my thoughts as downloaded
and hope they bring comforting times.
--April 2023
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My Red Shoes *My Mission, consciousness, freedom, expectation
I am not my mother’s daughter, biology aside.
I am not what she had hoped for, I am not my family’s pride.
I am not a shiny warrior for what society thinks I should be.
I am not the compliant matron who’s become a worker bee.
I push against the current just because I can.
I defy those expectations that define just who I am.
My consciousness is expanding and I’m riding on the wave.
I’m not sure where it’s going but it’s freedom that I crave.
I’m striving to express my inner voice’s song
while countering convention that some think is wrong.
So I am not exactly who I was expected to be.
I am instead a poet flaunting conventionality.
I’m unapologetic for my outspoken views.
I’m revealing what’s inside me wearing Dorothy’s red shoes.
I am the stars in the sky, I am the sound of a baby’s cry.
I am the softness of sea foam, I am the essence of this poem.
I am the light in other’s eyes, I am the moist center of French fries.
I am the calmness of the sea, I am the authentic Me.
I am an iron stake in the sand, I am a staircase that is grand.
I am the beating of my heart and I am only at my start.
--May 2023
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A Misfit’s Lament *My Mission, exclusion, intention, expectation, success
Rejection, ejection—the theme of my life.
I was always excluded by some social “knife.”
I don’t want to write this but somehow I must.
If I don’t express it, I think I’ll bust.
Abandoned at six, briefly exiled to the nuns
began my life’s pattern of “once and dones.”
I never fit in with society’s norm—
even in the family to which I was born.
My school years were spent trying to fit in
but always failing to learn how to win.
My mother, a WASP pilot in World War II,
never succeeded in breaking through.
Her intentions were good but she didn’t know how
to nurture or teach me how to kow-tow.
So, left on my own and not knowing my place,
I would inevitably fall from grace.
I never was taught how to cook, clean or sew
or the social skills I needed to know.
And so, no matter how hard I’d try,
I’d miss the mark and be hung out to dry.
At least I found a man who is just like me,
who rejected who HE was supposed to be.
We’ve built marital success from our mutual shame
and our girls are now at the top of their game.
They’re raising THEIR kids to be happy and strong,
so I guess that’s been the point all along.
It’s not about me or my feelings of loss.
It’s about my descendants and the goals they must cross.
My role moving forward is not to look back
and not to dwell on my feelings of lack.
I’m now cast as a mentor for others to know
that society’s misfits CAN succeed and grow.
--May 2023
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Mindfulness *My Mission, limitations, awareness
What’s the limit of this moment,
what’s the limit of my mind?
To stay in the present instant,
I leave past and future behind.
I look beyond my vision
to witness the world around.
I leave my ego hanging
as my feet merge with the ground.
I listen to my senses
to see the Presence there.
My head is not my focus
and my soul is now laid bare.
I see things all around me
just as they are right now,
no boundaries or emotions
that awareness will allow.
--June 2023
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Inside Job *My Mission
I am an inside job
who was afraid to belong to the world.
Now it’s time for me to unfold
and wave like a flag unfurled.
The words I am called to write
were ordained from the dawn of time.
They’ve been waiting for a safe place
to be fashioned into rhyme.
The poet I have always been
is now who I’ve come to be.
My inside’s out of its cage
and now the world’s coming to me.
--Betsy Lambert, February 2024
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